Expectations are unrealized ideas!!!

Competing at your best in your worst day is what mental toughness is all about. 

Here is how you’ll destroy your confidence & mental toughness

Comparing yourself with others

It is natural for a human to compare themselves with others but when you do that, NOBODY CARES!!! Just you.  The moment this other person starts doing certain things better than you, then your stress level goes up & things could go bad from there.

Here’s what happens often;  you are the starting goalkeeper,  then a slightly taller, faster, stronger & better goalkeeper shows up, now you lose your starting spot or you could simply be replaced because there is someone new…anything can happen!!

Also in TRYOUTS, you start watching everybody else now self-doubt starts to control your thinking process. Example (they will not pick me, I can’t do what he does, Im not fast like him etc).   You may be better at divings than other goalkeeper but this goalkeeper may be better at something else, it is simply irrelevant but very stressful as soon as those thoughts pops in your mind!!

STOP HURTING YOURSELF BY COMPARING YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE. This is a ticking-bomb waiting to go off and destroy yourself confidence & mental toughness at ANY time.

Expectations are too high

Some kids are raised to think that they are the BEST. Therefore, they must be BEST AT EVERYTHING, best grades, best schools, best teams etc. Here’s another example, goalkeepers who are taught to believe they are going to play Div I college,  professionally or in the US National Team but here’s a problem, they are just 11 years old but for some reason, parent & child think this has to happen NOW!!…Seriously, I don’t have to say much about this statement other than, is this the reality of life? This is going to be a tough road for someone like this!!

 Expectations are unrealized ideas. Work on things that you can control such as better fitness, technique, speed, vertical jumps, game knowledge, grow physically & mentally.  If you have high expectations and something does not go your way, you will literally put yourself in a position to struggle. However, with a reasonable plan you can accomplish anything…..see our next point!!

PLANS with no options

There a number of people that email me telling their stories about what some coaches or clubs tell their kids. For example, “if you play for this xyz team, or this level or ECNL or Academies this will be the only way to get to college or Division I”.    I have heard this so many times since I moved to the US & it is simply so FAR from the truth.

If you have ONLY ONE PATH to get to your goal, you are at serious risk to be extremely disappointed.

If you have a GOAL, discover as many options as you can to get to your final destination. Having several options, will give you an opportunity to deal with any obstacles or problems on your way to your goal.   If ONE option fails, then you can quickly move-on to the next option until you reach your goal….Think OPTIONS.

Over confidence

Overconfidence will give you the illusion that you CAN’T LOSE.

 I have personally seen a number of young amateur goalkeepers play with confidence but ONLY when they are playing with great teams or belong in a team with great players. But the same goalkeeper I’ve seen fall apart when his team is not great, almost to a point where they wanted to QUIT!!!

You can be sure of your skills, techniques & fitness because that is under your control. However, you can’t control outcomes & results. Therefore, going into a game or a situation thinking that you already won, could be extremely dangerous to your confidence or metal toughness when things are NOT going your way….Stay focused!