Zuriel Lozano
Parents can help their goalkeeper be mentally strong
The most powerful way to help a young goalkeeper be mentally strong is being REALISTIC.
However, KNOW that helping someone to be mentally strong takes time & is DIFFICULT. Here’s how you can start:
BE REALISTIC.
If you FAIL TO IGNORE THIS FIRST STEP, then your chances in helping your goalkeeper will disappear.
First step is being HONEST to yourself, others and most important to your goalkeeper or young athlete (son or daughter).
Here’s what normally happens, a child tells you “I want to be a professional goalkeeper” or “I want to play professionally for FC Barcelona or a Pro Team in Europe”. “I’m going to play Division I College” or “play for the national team”. Most parents would go along with these statements but in your mind, you know there’s a SLIM chance for this to happen.
Furthermore, Parents can literally see that their son or daughter is clearly not as good of goalkeeper as other. They continue to struggle with speed, power, vertical jumps & decision making.
However, many parents try NOT TO HURT their children “feelings” by not saying anything. Until you or your child realizes this dream or goal is NOT going to happen. This realization could potentially hurt the goalkeeper Psychologically and it is dangerous approach.
This is the main reason why parents must be realistic and honest to their young athletes
As a Parent, it is very difficult to be brutally honest to their children. Today, millions of parents struggle with this. You want to help your son or daughter in any way possible & not hurt their “feelings”.
However, saying the wrong things at the wrong time or not saying anything at all will have negative consequences. The timing in which you choose to say things is CRUCIAL!!
Here’s how you can help:
Encourage them to to investigate and analyze their TRUE chances to reach their goal. DON’T BE AFRAID to tell the truth at this point.
Remember, struggles & failures is how we become stronger, experienced & confident. This is NOT the end of the world, it is only the beginning of something totally new. Sometimes in live, drastic changes have to occur to reach a goal successfully.
No shame in dreaming big
Having big goals & dreams is what separates us from the animals. But what if you dream to be a Nurse or Doctor but you are afraid of blood. What if you want to be an Airline Pilot but you are afraid of heights. Be realistic!!
STOP RESCUING
Parents are hurting kids by trying to solve ALL of their problems. Some spend tons of time shielding their kids from disappointments and GETTING THEIR FEELINGS HURT.
In fact, the more you try to protect their feeling and shielding them from struggles of live, then you are forming a child who will not be able to handle serious problems ON & OFF the field.
Today, most goalkeepers & young athletes look terrified, uncomfortable & they seem to fall apart when they get scored on or make a mistake. This is tough for a parent to see but the this is a long term solution.
Here’s how you can help:
It’s very hard to see your child struggle. However, they MUST learn to deal with discomfort & tough situations.
As a Parent, you have been through tough things in life, how did you handle it?. You can share your experiences to guide & help them develop problem-solving skills & help their confidence level.
During a conversations with your goalkeeper, you DON’T have to be the parent with loaded answers. You DO NOT have to have an answer for every problem your kid will encounter. Sometimes simply asking questions to help them think differently could be a very simple solution.
At times, being SILENT is all you need
You know your child best and you have endless possibilities to help them. Just remember, you don’t always have to be the hero. You must learn to be ok to let your children struggle a bit.
after all, I’m not talking about putting your children in UNSAFE & dangerous places. Im specifically referring to your child’s mental status.
Final key point: Talent vs Hard work
So far this blog is covering those goalkeepers & athletes who struggle mentally. In addition, parents can see few good tips to help their children.
However, what if you are a parent with a goalkeeper who is talented, physical & is doing great in the goal does this means your work is done?.
BE AWARE:
Today there are so many talented goalkeepers who are blinded by their success to this point. Some of them have been able to stay at a certain level teams but their work ethics is not there. They just do good enough to make the team & impress coaches. Basically, good enough to get by.
However, these athletes completely overlook the meaning of HARD WORK & never reach their full potential. Often time these goalkeepers have very successful experiences at the youth club level. However, by the time they reach college, they are BURNED-OUT and struggle to stay in the team. Worse, some will completely drop out from the team.
TALENT will take a goalkeeper so far but HARD WORK will help them STAY at the highest level. If you are a parent of a TALENTED goalkeeper, your job WILL BE tricky.
Many talented goalkeepers or athletes can be blinded by all the attention & praises they get
Often time, these kids do not feel they need help and since they are doing very well, some parents no longer bother to help them get mentally ready for tough challenges ahead such as college.
Once they’ve reached their Freshman year in college they feel they MADE IT. Some will naturally feel they will be the “star” or center of attention as they did in youth club soccer.
But now they are in a fight for their lives to get a starting spot in college, which they didn’t have to do before. As results, many of them simply stop trying & others simply quit within 2 years.
Remember that being mentally tough is a long time process, this has nothing to do with the type of level team your son or daughter is playing. Help your goalkeeper develop solid work ethics that will carry on not only in sport but in their normal lives.
Finally
Remind your goalkeepers to stay HUMBLE (humility is NOT a sign of weakness). Let them know that competition WILL get tougher, tell them that improving NEVER STOPS. Let them know you are always there when tough time comes. Mental training is a long-time journey.
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Athlete burnout is defined by Sport Psychologists as: physical/emotional exhaustion, sport devaluation, reduced athletic performance and accomplishment”. Burnout can occur at a VERY YOUNG AGE. I’ve personally met many 12 yrs old with serious signs of burnout. But sadly there are a number of parents who refuse to believe their kids are too young to burnout, instead they insist that
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There is a BIG difference between TRAINING a goalkeeper and DEVELOPING a goalkeeper. I’m very sure that you have encountered many coaches, who, before they even say their names, they talk about their winning records, championships, their “national rankings” and their tons of certifications they’ve gained over the years. It seems as if their egos and history of winning records
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The most powerful way to help a young goalkeeper be mentally strong is being REALISTIC
However [tooltip title=”be patient!”]you must KNOW that[/tooltip] helping someone to be mentally strong is [tooltip title=”it takes time!”]very DIFFICULT. [/tooltip] Here’s how you can start:
[/fusion_text][/fullwidth][fullwidth background_color=”#f8f8f8″ background_image=”http://theme-fusion.com/avadaxml/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/bkgd_bw2.jpg” background_parallax=”fixed” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_webm=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_preview_image=”” overlay_color=”” overlay_opacity=”0.5″ video_mute=”yes” video_loop=”yes” fade=”no” border_size=”1px” border_color=”#e5e4e4″ border_style=”solid” padding_top=”35px” padding_bottom=”15px” padding_left=”10px” padding_right=”10px” hundred_percent=”yes” equal_height_columns=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” menu_anchor=”” class=”” id=””][one_half last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]BE REALISTIC.
If you FAIL TO IGNORE THIS FIRST STEP, then your chances in helping your goalkeeper will disappear very fast!! . Part of this first step is also being being HONEST to yourself, others and most important to your goalkeeper (son or daughter).
Here’s what normally happens, a child tells you “I want to be a professional goalkeeper” or “I want to play professionally for FC Barcelona or a Pro Team in Europe”, “Im going to play Division I College” or “play for the national team”….Most parents would go along with these statements but in your mind, you know there’s a SLIM chance for this to happen.
Furthermore, there are a number of examples where Parents can literally see that their son or daughter is clearly not as good of goalkeeper as other and they continue to struggle with speed, power, vertical jumps & decision making. On the other hand, you may have a talented goalkeeper who has what it takes to play at the highest level, more on this shortly!!
However, many parents try NOT TO HURT their children “feelings” by not saying anything, until you or your child realizes this dream or goal is NOT going to happen. This realization could potentially hurt the goalkeeper Psychologically and it is dangerous approach. It is different for every goalkeeper!! This is why helping a goalkeeper be mentally strong is VERY difficult because as a parent, you want to help your son or daughter in any way possible & not hurt their “feelings”. But saying the wrong things at the wrong time or not saying anything at all has negative consequences. The timing in which you choose to say things is CRUCIAL!![/fusion_text][/one_half][one_half last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][imageframe lightbox=”yes” lightbox_image=”” style_type=”dropshadow” hover_type=”zoomin” bordercolor=”#f2f2f2″ bordersize=”1px” borderradius=”0″ stylecolor=”” align=”center” link=”” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”up” animation_speed=”1″ animation_offset=”” hide_on_mobile=”no” class=”” id=””][/imageframe][person name=”Zuriel Lozano” title=”International Goalkeeper coach, MS Sport & Health Science Certified by The National Academy of Sport Medicine” picture=”” pic_link=”” linktarget=”_self” pic_style=”none” hover_type=”none” background_color=”” content_alignment=”center” pic_style_color=”” pic_bordersize=”” pic_bordercolor=”” pic_borderradius=”” icon_position=”bottom” social_icon_boxed=”yes” social_icon_boxed_radius=”#0C5EF4″ social_icon_colors=”” social_icon_boxed_colors=”#0C5EF4″ social_icon_tooltip=”bottom” email=”[email protected]” facebook=”https://www.facebook.com/zuriel.z.lozano” twitter=”https://twitter.com/zuriel_lozano” instagram=”https://www.instagram.com/zlozano4/” dribbble=”” google=”” linkedin=”https://www.linkedin.com/in/zlozano/” blogger=”” tumblr=”” reddit=”” yahoo=”” deviantart=”” vimeo=”” youtube=”https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLTigzU_HaQgLrQD3DFOSFw” pinterest=”” rss=”” digg=”” flickr=”” forrst=”” myspace=”” skype=”” paypal=”” dropbox=”” soundcloud=”” vk=”” class=”” id=””]Speaker, Mental coach, Blogger[/person][/one_half][one_full last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]
Here’s how you can help:
Encourage them to to investigate and analyze their TRUE chances to reach their goal. Evaluate evidence to clearly understand the final outcome. DON’T BE AFRAID to tell the truth at this point. Remember, struggles & failures is how we become stronger, experienced & confident. This is NOT the end of the world, it is only the beginning of something totally new. Sometimes in live, drastic changes have to occur to reach a goal successfully.
Note: Having big goals & dreams is what separates us from the animals. But what if you dream to be a Nurse or Doctor but you are afraid of blood, what if you want to be an Airline Pilot but you are afraid of heights. Be realistic!!STOP RESCUING
In other words, parents are hurting kids by trying to solve ALL of their problems, by shielding them from disappointments and GETTING THEIR FEELINGS HURT. In fact, the more you try to protect their feeling and shielding them from struggles of live, then you are forming a child who will not be able to handle serious problems ON & OFF the field. Today, most goalkeepers look terrified, uncomfortable & they seem to fall apart when they get scored on or make a mistake. This is tough for a parent to see but the this is a long term solution.Here’s how you can help:
It’s very hard to see your child struggle. However, they MUST learn to deal with discomfort & tough situations. As a Parent, you have been through tough things in life, how did you handle it? These are experiences that you can share to guide & help them develop problem-solving skills & help their confidence level. During a conversations with your goalkeeper, you DON’T have to be the parent with loaded answers, meaning that you DO NOT have to have an answer for every problem your kid will encounter. Sometimes simply asking questions to help them think differently could be a very simple solution. At times, being SILENT is all you need. You know your child best and you have endless possibilities to help them. Just remember, you don’t always have to be the hero.[/fusion_text][/one_full][separator style_type=”none” top_margin=”40″ bottom_margin=”” sep_color=”” border_size=”” icon=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” width=”” alignment=”” class=”” id=””][/fullwidth][fullwidth background_color=”” background_image=”” background_parallax=”fixed” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_webm=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_preview_image=”” overlay_color=”” overlay_opacity=”0.5″ video_mute=”yes” video_loop=”yes” fade=”no” border_size=”1px” border_color=”#e5e4e4″ border_style=”” padding_top=”45px” padding_bottom=”45px” padding_left=”0px” padding_right=”0px” hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” menu_anchor=”features” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]Final key point: Talent vs Hard work
So far this blog is covering those goalkeepers who struggle mentally and how parents can help them. But what if you are a parent with a goalkeeper who is talented, physical & is doing great in the goal does this means your work is done?
BE AWARE: Today there are so many talented goalkeepers who are blinded by their success to this point. Some of them have been able to stay at a certain level teams but their work ethics is not there. They just do good enough to make or stay in the team or good enough to impress a coach and get by. But they completely overlook the HARD WORK to reach their FULLEST POTENTIAL & keep a spot in the team. Often time these goalkeepers have very successful experiences at the youth club level but by the time they reach college, they are BURNED-OUT and struggle to stay in the team, or worse some will dropout completely from the team. TALENT will take a goalkeeper so far but HARD WORK will help them STAY at the highest level. If you are a parent of a TALENTED goalkeeper, your job WILL BE tricky. Often time, these kids do not feel they need help and since they are doing very well, some parents no longer bother to help them get mentally ready for tough challenges ahead such as college. Once they’ve reached their Freshman year in college they feel they MADE IT and naturally they think they will be the “star” or center of attention as they did in youth club soccer. But now they are in a fight for their lives to get a starting spot in college, which they didn’t have to do before. As results, many of them simply stop trying & others simply quit within 2 years. Remember that being mentally tough is a long time process, this has nothing to do with the type of level team your son or daughter is playing. Help your goalkeeper develop solid work ethics that will carry on not only in sport but in their normal lives. Remind your goalkeepers to stay HUMBLE (humility is NOT a sign of weakness), keep them IN-CHECK, let them know that competition WILL get tougher, tell them that improving NEVER STOPS, let them know you are always there when tough time comes.[/fusion_text][/fullwidth][section_separator divider_candy=”bottom” icon=”” icon_color=”” bordersize=”1px” bordercolor=”#333333″ backgroundcolor=”#333333″ class=”” id=””][person name=”” title=”” picture=”” pic_link=”” linktarget=”_self” pic_style=”” hover_type=”none” background_color=”” content_alignment=”” pic_style_color=”” pic_bordersize=”” pic_bordercolor=”” pic_borderradius=”” icon_position=”” social_icon_boxed=”” social_icon_boxed_radius=”” social_icon_colors=”” social_icon_boxed_colors=”” social_icon_tooltip=”” email=”” facebook=”” twitter=”” instagram=”” dribbble=”” google=”” linkedin=”” blogger=”” tumblr=”” reddit=”” yahoo=”” deviantart=”” vimeo=”” youtube=”” pinterest=”” rss=”” digg=”” flickr=”” forrst=”” myspace=”” skype=”” paypal=”” dropbox=”” soundcloud=”” vk=”” class=”” id=””][/person]