Being REALISTIC is the most powerful method to help a young athlete develop mental toughness. However, it takes a long time and involves trials and suffering to properly appreciate what it is like to be mentally tough. 

Here’s how you can start:

BE REALISTIC.

The first step is to be HONEST with yourself and especially with your young athlete (son or daughter).

What usually happens is that your child tells you, “I want to play professional soccer in Europe.” I’m going to play Division I College,” or “play for the US national team”. Most parents would agree with these remarks, but you know there’s a SMALL probability of this happening because they’re not as good, powerful, or fast as other top athletes.

However, many parents try to protect their children’s feelings by not saying anything or going along with it. But when those young athletes understand that this elusive objective is not going to be achieved, many children will either feel deceived and quit, or this can act as fuel to continue fighting. The point is that it is preferable to be truthful and set reasonable goals from the beginning.

As a parent, it is very difficult to be brutally honest to their children. Today, millions of parents struggle with this.   You want to help your son or daughter in any way possible and not hurt their “feelings.”.

However, saying the wrong things at the wrong time or not saying anything at all will have negative consequences.  The timing in which you choose to say things is CRUCIAL!!

Here’s how you can help:

Encourage them to investigate and analyze their true chances to reach their goal. Don’t BE AFRAID to tell the truth at this point.

Remember, struggles and failures are how we become stronger, more experienced, & confident. This is not the end of the world; it is only the beginning of something totally new. Sometimes in life, drastic changes have to occur to reach a goal successfully.

No shame in dreaming big  

Having big goals & dreams is what separates us from animals. But what if you dream to be a nurse or doctor but you are afraid of blood?  What if you want to be an airline pilot but are afraid of heights?  Be realistic!!

STOP RESCUING

Parents are hurting kids by trying to solve all of their problems. Some spend tons of time shielding their kids from disappointments and GETTING THEIR FEELINGS HURT.   

In fact, the more you try to protect their feelings and shield them from the struggles of life, then you are forming a child who will not be able to handle serious problems on & off the field.

Today, most goalkeepers and young athletes look terrified and uncomfortable. They seem to fall apart when they get scored on or make a mistake.   This is tough for a parent to see, but it is the best long-term solution.

You must struggle in life.

It’s very hard to see your child struggle. However, they must learn to deal with discomfort & tough situations. Unless this is a life-or-death situation, they will benefit from their struggles.

As a parent, you have been through tough things in life; how did you handle them? You can share your experiences to guide & help them develop problem-solving skills & boost their confidence.

During a conversation with your young athlete, you DON’T have to be the parent with loaded answers. You DO NOT have to have an answer for every problem your kid will encounter.  Sometimes, simply asking questions to help them think differently could be a very simple solution. 

At times, being SILENT is all you need 

You know your child best, and you have endless possibilities to help them.  Just remember, you don’t always have to be the hero. You must learn to be OK with letting your children struggle. 

After all, I’m not talking about putting your children in UNSAFE & dangerous places. I’m specifically referring to your child’s mental status.

Final key point: Talent vs Hard work

So far, this blog is covering those goalkeepers & athletes who struggle mentally. 

What if you are a parent with an athlete who is talented, physical, and doing great? Does this mean your work is done? And that your child will be a great athlete forever?

BE AWARE:

Today, there are so many talented athletes who are blinded by their athleticism and abilities. Some of them have been able to stay at certain levels of teams, but their work ethics are not there. They have done well enough to earn a place on the team and impress the coaches.  Basically, it’s good enough to get by.

However, these athletes completely overlook the meaning of HARD WORK & never reach their full potential.  Oftentimes, these young athletes have successful experiences at the youth club level. However,  by the time they reach college, they are BURNED-OUT and struggle to stay in the team.  Worse, some will completely drop out from the team. 

TALENT will take a goalkeeper so far but DISCIPLINE will help them stay at the highest level. If you are a parent of a talented goalkeeper, your job WILL BE tricky.

Many talented goalkeepers or athletes can be blinded by all the attention & praises they get

Oftentimes, these kids do not feel they need help, and since they are doing very well, some parents no longer bother to help them get mentally ready for tough challenges ahead such as college.

Once they’ve reached their freshman year in college, they feel they MADE IT.  Some will naturally feel they will be the “star” or center of attention, as they did in youth club soccer. 

But now they are in a fight for their lives to get a starting spot in college, which they didn’t have to do before.  As a result, many of them simply stop trying & others simply quit within 2 years.

Remember that being mentally tough is a long-time process, this has nothing to do with the type of level team your son or daughter is playing on. Help your athlete with solid work ethics that will carry on not only in sport but in their normal lives.

Finally

Remind your goalkeepers or young athlete to stay HUMBLE (humility is NOT a sign of weakness). Let them know that competition will get tougher, tell them that improving NEVER STOPS.  Let them know you are always there when a tough time comes. Mental training is a long-term journey.